Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Doggie Dialogue

Willard Romney: Seamus, I’m home.

Seamus: Woof, woof, woof.  (Close captioned to English): Yes master. More kibble, please?

Willard Romney: Later. First, we need to talk. We named you Seamus – that’s a cute Irish name. It’s a tradition that an Irish name indicates you do what you’re told and aspire to positions that are modest and realistic. It’s not a license to embarrass your betters or overreach. 

Seamus: Mmmm, woof (yeah, and)?

Willard Romney: Well as much as I have feelings for you, I’m concerned that you might have misunderstood me. While your name sounds like “Shame us”, that was never a command!

Seamus: Ooooh ( Uh Oh)!

Willard Romney: Well, I’m going to cut you some slack. Just be grateful that when Obama was seven or eight he ate one of your relatives. That took the heat off me on that one. But I want your IPad, your IPhone and the passwords to your FaceBook page, Twitter account and Tumblr. You better hope I don’t find that you leaked the crap about your open-air trip to Canada. Otherwise, you can forget the elevator in your doggie McMansion and have to deal with stairs.

Now, get ready for your bath.

Seamus: Grrrrrr (Can we please skip the Cadillac blow dry)?

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