In the wake of yet another mass shooting, Americans
of all political persuasions are looking for ways to prevent the next tragedy
before it happens. And while gun control advocates often disagree about the
solution, there’s one group that knows exactly what to do: Republican members
of congress. They’re the only people with the moral courage to tell the country
the hard truth: the best way to end the mass shooting epidemic—well, second
best, after “good guys with guns” everywhere—is to offer thoughts and prayers
to the victims. And nothing else. Now, thanks to the folks at GOP Arcade, a new
online game gives everyone the chance to be just as effective as a Republican
legislator: Thoughts & Prayers: The Game.
Even in our era of video game hyperrealism, the
game shows an extraordinary level of detail: players watch a map of the
United States as news of mass shootings breaks over and over again with
mind-numbing frequency. Each tragedy comes complete with a hashtag:
You can choose to fight off the onslaught of
senseless death and destruction any way you like: by offering thoughts or
prayers. (Rumors of a secret third option hidden in the game are, so far, unconfirmed.)
Thoughts & Prayers works on phones as well as computers, so it makes a fine
way to pass the time while sheltering in place. Can you do as much to prevent
mass shootings as real-life heroes Mitch McConnell or Orrin Hatch? The game
doesn’t yet offer a leaderboard to compare your skills against other players,
but it’s safe to assume we’re all tied for last.
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